What About Tipping?

Note: In "Dear Shira", city names and other details are changed to protect the privacy of the people involved.

Dear Shira,

I'm a student who plans to start dancing professionally. I've heard from other dancers that "going around for tips" is a way to make more money dancing, but other dancers seem to think it's tacky to let strangers tuck money in my costume. What should I do?

--Bewildered In Bedford

Dear Bewildered,

It's no wonder you're confused! The whole issue of collecting tips is one that professional dancers simply don't agree on. I'd recommend finding out what is common practice among dancers in your own community, and as long as you're comfortable with it, follow their example.

Just to give you an idea of how varied dancer opinions are on this subject, here's an opinion poll in which visitors to my web site have responded with their opinions on gathering tips.

So how does everyone else out there feel about collecting tips? Add your own opinion to the fray!

1) How do you feel about collecting tips from the audience when you perform?
I never, ever collect tips from the audience.
I let people tuck tips in my costume when done respectfully.
I carry a basket for people to put tips in.
I just set a jar on the stage to collect all my tips.
None of the above

Poll reflects votes since October 26, 2002.

Arab audiences have a couple of very nice tipping customs. One is to make a necklace by taping a series of $1.00 bills together, and then coming up to the stage and hanging that around the dancer's neck. Another, which originated in the Middle East, is for the tipper to come onto the stage and shower the dancer with a handful of banknotes--usually ten or more--holding them above her head and then letting them fall in a shower over her to the floor. In Egypt, this money is typically shared between the band and the dancer. Unfortunately, in some cities in the United States, the practice is to give the band all the money that fell on the floor, and the dancer gets none of it!

The general custom, at least in the United States, is for the dancer to step off the dance floor and go around to visit all the tables in the restaurant up close. When I do this, I think of it as saying hello to the audience, thanking them for coming, and giving them a chance to see my beautiful costume up close. If they choose to offer me a tip, I welcome it, but I don't think of it myself as soliciting tips. Soliciting tips seems too much like begging for my taste. But saying hello and graciously accepting a tip if offered is more my style. That means I say hello even at tables where no one is holding up a bill to let me know they have something for me.

Some restaurant owners require their dancers to go around for tips like this, as a condition of employment. Others don't care one way or another.

In my community, it is customary for customers to tuck the tip into the dancer's costume. If the tipper is a stranger to me, I usually direct them to place the tip in the sides of my hipband or the bra strap across the back. If I know and like the person, I may accept the tip from him/her in the front bra straps near the neck, center back of the hipband, or the side front of the hipband. I usually do not accept tips in the bra cups or center front of the hipband--only the person offering the tip is someone I know very well and like! The idea here is that I prefer not to let other people, especially strangers, touch me in the more intimate places.

Most audience members will cheerfully place the tip wherever I direct them with my body position and hand gestures. On the rare occasion that someone tries to insist on placing the tip somewhere unacceptable, I back away, wag my finger at them as if scolding with appropriate facial expression, and do not accept the tip at all.

Some dancers are not comfortable with the idea of accepting tips tucked into their costumes. So they will take a tambourine, basket, or hat around with them when they visit the audience, and direct people to place the tips in that. The nice thing about using a basket is that you can balance it on your head a little for some extra showmanship.

When somebody does give you a tip, be sure to nod graciously at them, make eye contact, smile, and say "Thank you!" Using the salaam gesture or blowing a kiss is a nice added touch. Take a look at each tip as you receive it--in the U.S., at least, most tips are $1.00 bills, but occasionally you'll receive something larger. If you do, you may want to re-tuck it to ensure that it's very secure and won't fall out of your costume before you leave the stage!

You can play your finger cymbals if you want to while going around to visit the audience. It's also good to continue doing subtle dance moves such as shimmies, shoulder rolls, and undulations so the audience can see how they look up close. Space between tables is usually very limited, but there are still many movements you can execute within those constraints! Please be careful not to play the cymbals directly in anyone's ears!

It's also possible to just put a basket on the stage with a sign indicating its purpose is gratuities for you, but you'll probably receive less money that way. Besides, I personally enjoy going around to greet the audience up close!

If a tip should fall out of your costume onto the floor, do not stoop to pick it up! It looks tacky, even if you do it gracefully! If you have a friend or family member in the audience, perhaps you can ask that person ahead of time to pick up any tips for you that fall on the floor and bring them backstage afterward. In many restaurants, the staff will pick them up and bring them to you after you finish dancing.

In the United States, the typical full nightclub performance consists of seven parts: 1) a fast/medium entrance song, 2) a slow rhumba for veil work, 3) another fast/medium song, 4) a chiftetelli or rhythmless improvised solo for either floor work, standing undulations, or balancing, 5) another fast/medium song, 6) a drum solo, and 7) a fast finale. If you are doing all 7 parts, the best time to go around for tips is right after the slow 4th part, using the following fast/medium song that makes up part 5 to do it. Return to the stage for your drum solo and finale. If you're doing only 3 parts (fast/medium entrance, slow, fast finale), use the first part of your fast finale go around, then return to the stage to end your show.

You should also be aware that different communities have different customs with respect to sharing tips with the band. Some expect you to give half the tips you collect to the band. Others expect that you will keep everything because the band is paid more than you anyway. Still others expect that tips which stay on your body remain with you, while those that fall on the floor go to the band. Ask the more experienced dancers in your community what the local customs are.

In summary, first you should become familiar with what most of the dancers in your own community do about collecting tips and sharing them with the band. Once you know what the usual practice is, then you can make your own decision about whether to follow it or not. In the end, be true to yourself and what makes you comfortable.

--Shira